Shite or a haircut (Scottish)
To be completely confused, or to explain someone who cannot make up their mind. Also to describe a person or persons (organisation) who are completely disorganised. “That’s the 3rd time this month the council have dug up this road. They don’t know if they want a shite or a haircut that lot!” Alternativey – when observing a poor driver weaving all over the road and / or indicating the wrong way at junctions etc can be described as not knowing wether they want a shite or a haircut.
(c) Urban Dictionary